This is one of those blog blurb entries that will probably seem to imply i really need a life, be that as it is, or may, or who knows how to say these things grammatically correct anyway, this is something that i’ve been wanting to get out of my system.

Vacuum Cleaner

I don’t get it.

Who invented this word, or this combination?
What does it mean?
What does it stand for?

Vacuum Cleaner, it doesn’t mean what it says, it doesn’t explain what it could stand for, what do we actually really imagine this cleaner of vacuum will do? A vacuum is empty.

In the Germanic languages of Northern Europe, Danish (støvsuger), Norwegian (støvsuger), Dutch (stofzuiger), German (Staubsauger), Swedish (dammsugare) even in Mongolian (toos sorogch) it’s obvious. The Sofzuiger (Dutch) is exactly what it is, literally translated all of these mean, dust sucker, dust sucker, a sucker of dust, that’s what we use it for, these machines on wheels, making noises like a choir of asthmatic wolves, sucking dust, dust sucker.

It makes sense.
Vacuum cleaner doesn’t.

Is the English language consistent in this ambiguity?
No, it isn’t.
What does a coffee maker do but make coffee?
What does a grinder do but grind?
What does a blender do but blend?
What does a toaster do but toast?
How about a nail cutter?
A mixer?
A filter?
Beard Trimmer?
Hair Dryer?

So what about Latin languages? French (aspirateur), Italian (aspirapolvere), Portuguese (aspirador), Spanish (aspiradora) all seem to allude to inhaling (sucking) and the Italian has the added “polvere” (powder).

Again, they seem to make more sense than the English.

Even the English dictionary, in its definition of vacuum cleaner, cannot explain it but by referring to the reality e.g. An electrical appliance that cleans surfaces by suction.

Cleans by suction, you see that is just the thing, so why vacuum cleaner?

Off course it’s easy to find out, there’s the history of the vacuum cleaner right at your fingertips on the www, but what we find is that instead of referring to what it does the vacuum cleaner’s name refers to how it does it. Ha! This is the thing, why? Why? Why, is the vacuum cleaner, in English, named after its process rather than its function and why did the other peoples of Europe and even Asia, consistent with other naming structures, stick to just naming it for what it does?

I can smell a conspiracy coming up…but that’s for another day!